In our years of correspondence, Rachel and I discussed pretty much every topic under the sun, and a few from the other side of the sun as well.

In one exchange, we discussed epitaphs. As I was doing a great deal of conference planning work at the time, I jokingly wrote that mine would be, “She planned great menus and sourced the best swag”.

Rachel replied:

“She planned great menus” seems an exciting epitaph. I would take notice of that if I walked past it.

Now & then I think of what I might want on my tombstone (if I were to have one). I suppose, “She had a fucking amazing life” would not be acceptable.

“Saver of lives” might be nice.

“She walked with God and was no more,” what the Bible says about Enoch, would be interesting.

Of course, not dying (or aging or getting disabled, etc.) would be even more interesting.

“Where do stories come from?” might be nice, especially since readers of Unquenchable Fire would know that the answer is, “The Land of the Dead.”

“Knight of the Imagination” is another favorite.

Actually, my favorite epitaph—because it came from someone else, was from a fan, who wrote, “When she’s gone, there will never be another like her.”

To that anonymous fan: thank you.

She had a fucking amazing life.

She’s gone, and there will never be another like her.

Rest in poetry, passion, and play, my dear friend.

It’s 1:45 AM, I’ve just arrived at my hotel after 26 hours of travel, and this is the first thing to appear in my timeline.

I’m exhausted and overwrought and have no proper words at the moment.

I love you, Rachel. I will miss you. I will post something more suitable (or at least coherent) in the morning.

Rest in peace and poetry, my friend.

I would give anything to see you and speak with you and hug you one more time, Rachel.

(The message below was posted on Tumbr by Neil Gaiman on March 12, 2023 at 10:24 AM PDT.)

Often when someone goes for a reading, they already know the answer to their question; they simply need a safe space to discuss their concerns and talk about options for moving forward.

In the interests of saving time for everyone, here are the answers to some frequently asked questions.

1. I’m cheating on my partner. Will they find out?
Yes. If you are worried enough to discuss this with a total stranger, you already know this.

2. My partner caught me cheating on them. I don’t want to stop. Can I get away with it this time?
No. You can try to be more careful this time, but you are not as clever or as careful as you think you are, and you will get caught again.

3. I said I was sorry. Isn’t that enough?
You are not sorry you cheated; you are sorry that you got caught. If you are not sorry for hurting your partner, and you don’t intend to change your behavior, then be a responsible adult and end the relationship.

4. My partner wants to get married. I don’t. Should I I promise to marry them “when I’m ready”?
No. Unless you are willing to set a specific and short time frame (one year or less), all you are doing is stringing them along. That’s not kind or fair. If you don’t want to make that commitment, don’t make it, and don’t promise to make it “later”.

5. My partner wants a baby, but I don’t want one. Should I be worried they’re going to “forget” their birth control and get pregnant?
Yes. Therefore, you need to be a responsible adult and make sure that you are using birth control.

If you can’t be the person your partner wants, and you can’t keep the promises you make to them, you are not the right person for them, and they’re not the right person for you. Take responsibility for your life and your actions; end the relationship so you both can move on to find people who are a better fit for each of you.