Snake in Phoenix
~ Sharon Suzuki-Martinez
If I had to describe
the movement of the snake
crossing a road
in Phoenix
this summer morning,
……………I would not say
……………………..it slithered,
…………..but rather,
………………………………..she shimmered
……………………flowing before traffic
………………………………………………..like a deathless river
in a dust city.
Epitaph
~ Elinor Wylie
For this she starred her eyes with salt
And scooped her temples thin,
Until her face shone pure of fault
From the forehead to the chin.
In coldest crucibles of pain
Her shrinking flesh was fired
And smoothed into a finer grain
To make it more desired.
Pain left her lips more clear than glass;
It colored and cooled her hand.
She lay a field of scented grass
Yielded as pasture land.
For this her loveliness was curved
And carved as silver is:
For this she was brave: but she deserved
A better grave than this.
One of the things that is painfully out of balance about our current culture is that it does not value rest. We are supposed to be doing something every minute of the day, and that’s simply not healthy. Even our hunter-gatherer forebears and agrarian societies had times of rest. I read one book (don’t ask me which one, it was more than five minutes ago) that estimated the survival work averaged about 20 – 25 hours per adult each week, outside of the push at spring planting and fall harvest.
We, however, bolstered by technical advances of every kind and a theoretically higher standard of living, are supposed to be fully occupied with some damn thing or other 16 hours per day, and still somehow enjoy 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep. Given that that most 8 hour workdays are really 10 – 11 hours because of commuting, the numbers do not add up. It’s insane, and we can’t keep insisting that this is a workable norm.
We can take care of ourselves by setting boundaries on our time, and focusing on what’s truly important, and on doing only those things which are based in love, joy, and fulfillment. There are endless books, blog posts, and advice columns telling us that it’s just a matter of planning and being organized.
Right. (Most of those also feature perfectly-groomed women doing yoga on the beach, or laughing over a bowl of salad in an immaculate kitchen. Consider the source.)
The reality is that, no matter how well we manage our time, we still have only 24 hours in which to live each day—and for many of us, most of those hours are consumed by the need to work and pay for our daily existence. The struggle so many of us experience, trying to set boundaries and find that balance is, in itself, consuming our time and energy.
No matter how good our intentions, or how intense our desires for an authentic, creative life may be, we are unable to alter the fact that we have limited time each day, and many of those hours are claimed by obligations which are not optional. (Unless, of course, you are independently wealthy and can delegate everything to other people, but I don’t personally know anyone with that particular luxury.)
Be kind to yourself as you figure it out. There is no one right answer—some days, things flow effortlessly, and other days, the Universe operates with complete disregard for your plans. Do your best with what arises, and do your best to defend your quiet time, your time to do nothing, and your time to sleep.
Whichever kind of day you are having, you can take the time to stop, breathe, and decide how you will spend the next 15 minutes. You may not be able to manage the entire day, but you can manage the next 15 minutes—and that may be to unplug and be quiet, so you can deal with the 15 minutes after that.
A few months ago, a friend went through a harrowing medical situation with a family member. In discussing it with a small group of friends, she expressed her gratitude for the nurses who had carefully tended her relative and encouraged her and the family during the recovery process.
Another person in the group commented, “I can’t stand nurses. They’re rude and bossy.”
We all stared at her for a moment, then returned our attention to our friend, who continued her story.
When someone is expressing gratitude, why would you feel it necessary or appropriate to rain negativity on them? What possible good does it do anyone to diminish someone’s appreciation of something good that has happened for them? Perhaps your experience does not match theirs, but it is not helpful to anyone for you to detract from their positive experience.
Be tactful. Be mature. Be the person Mr. Rogers knew you can be. The world has enough negativity; there’s no point in diminishing something good.
Interlude
~ Amy Lowell
